Tag: Joke

Khandaker Delwar Hossain: Once upon a time…

Khandaker Delwar Hossain is the Secretary General of BNP, one of the leading political party in Bangladesh. This video was recorded while he was giving speech in National Press Club of Bangladesh. First notice that, how he was reacting, it seems that he had itches in his knee or leg that’s why he is scratching his leg. But well… after a while… it was revealed that it was actually not an itch… it seemed… he was loosing his pants (or pajamas)!! 😀

And hard to believe that they are our political leaders!! Enjoy the video 🙂

Joke: Mind your accent

Root of problem is the chinese names: Annie Wan, Sam Wan, Noel Wan, Avery Wan, Saw Lee.

Phone operator

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about ?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee. (sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Y2K compliant…

Thanks to LinuxHomeServer for sharing this joke. A slightly modified version is posted here. Enjoy 😀

TO: Boss

FROM: Mofiz

SUBJECT: RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K bug

Dear Boss,

I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have been returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk.

Though you’ve not mentioned, I also changed all the days of each week to: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, and Saturdak.

Now we are Y to K compliant…

Yours sincerely,

Mofiz.

Lesson to do Business

Two men talking

Father : “I want you to marry a girl of my choice”
Son : “I will choose my own bride!”
Father : “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…ok”

Next – Father approaches Bill Gates…

Father : “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates : “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father : “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates : “Ah, in that case…ok”

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank…

Father : “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President : “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father : “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President : “Ah, in that case…ok“

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have Nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive.

Some "Men-Women" facts

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HANDWRITING:
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just write.
Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their “i’s” with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their “p’s” and “g’s.” It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

BATHROOMS:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom – a toothbrush,toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. Continue reading Some "Men-Women" facts

ATM manual for boys and girls

  • Instructions for boys:

1. Drive to ATM
2. Insert Card
3. Enter PIN
4. Take cash, card and receipt
5. Drive away

  • Instructions for Girls:

1. Drive to ATM booth
2. Back up and pull forward the car to get closer
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because you’re too far from machine
6. Search for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
9. Enter PIN
10. Study instructions
11. Hit “CANCEL”
12. Re-enter correct PIN
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car engine
25. Check makeup again
26. Start pulling away
27. Stop!
28. Put the hand brake on
29. Get out of car
30. Take the card and receipt
31. Get back in car
32. Put card in wallet
33. Put receipt in checkbook
34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook
36. Check makeup
37. Put car in reverse
38. Put car in drive
39. Drive away from machine
40. Drive 3 kilometer to shopping mall